Planning · Decision Tool

Who to Call When an Aging Parent Needs Help

When something is wrong but you don't know which professional handles it, families lose months calling the wrong people. Answer a few questions and we'll point you to the right professional type for your situation — what they do, what they cost, how to find a good one, and what not to expect. We sell none of these services, so we can be honest about who's paid by whom.

Don’t know who? — Answer a few questions → Get the planning workbook — free

This tool was built by Dan Stine, a Houston-based senior transitions specialist. Some examples and state-specific guidance lean Texas — that’s where Dan’s expertise sits. The framework applies nationally; Texas-specific details are flagged where they appear.

Answer a few quick questions and we’ll point you to the right professional — what they do, what they cost, how to find a good one, and what not to expect.

Who to call when an aging parent needs help

There's no single phone number for "my parent is getting older and I'm worried." The honest answer is that different problems belong to different professionals — and the hardest part for most families is simply knowing which call to make first. Use the tool at the top of this page for a route tailored to your situation, or read on: the sections below explain the comparisons families ask about most, and list every professional type with what they do, what they cost, and the directory that credentials them.

If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911. If you need to find local services fast, the federal Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116, eldercare.acl.gov) connects you to the right agencies in your area, and Adult Protective Services can do a welfare check.

Geriatric care manager vs. senior placement advisor

These two get confused constantly, and the difference comes down to who pays them. A geriatric care manager (also called an Aging Life Care Professional) is paid by you, takes no commission, and is therefore neutral about the biggest question of all — whether your parent should move at all. A senior placement advisor is paid by the senior living community when your parent moves in, and refers within their own network. That makes a placement advisor genuinely useful once you've decided to move and want help comparing communities, but not a neutral guide to the decision itself.

Geriatric care manager

Paid by you. Neutral. Assesses the whole situation and coordinates care. Best for the "what's going on and what should we do" question. Find one via the Aging Life Care Association.

Senior placement advisor

Free to you, paid by the community (about one month's rent), refers within its network. Best after you've decided to move and want help touring and comparing options.

Elder law attorney vs. financial planner — for an aging parent

When the question is how to pay for years of care and protect what your parent has, two professionals overlap but do different jobs. An elder law attorney handles the legal tools — powers of attorney, Medicaid eligibility, asset protection, and the home. A financial planner (ideally a fee-only Certified Financial Planner) models the money: how long it lasts under different care scenarios, and how to fund the gap. Most financial planners are not Medicaid specialists, so for eligibility and asset protection they'll send you back to the elder law attorney. For an aging parent facing long-term care, you often need both, in that order: the attorney to protect, the planner to fund.

Certified Medicaid Planner vs. elder law attorney

Here's an option most families don't know exists. For a straightforward Medicaid question — does my parent qualify, and how do we apply — a Certified Medicaid Planner can often do the work faster and for a fraction of an attorney's fee, usually at a flat rate. The trade-off: a Certified Medicaid Planner cannot draft legal documents, set up a trust, protect a home through a deed, or represent your parent in an appeal. The moment the home or larger assets need protecting, that's an elder law attorney's job. Think of the Medicaid planner as the lower-cost door for pure eligibility, and the attorney as the one who protects what you're trying to keep.

Who pays whom — why neutrality matters

The senior care world is full of helpful people, and many of them are paid by someone other than you. That's not a scandal; it's just something to know before you call, because it shapes the advice you'll get. The professionals paid directly by you — geriatric care managers, Certified Medicaid Planners, daily money managers, fee-only financial planners, senior move managers — have no built-in reason to steer you one way. The ones paid by the destination — a senior placement advisor (paid by the community), a long-term care insurance broker (paid on policies sold) — do useful work, but their incentive points somewhere. We sell none of these services, so we can say it plainly: ask anyone "how are you paid," and weigh the answer.

Every professional, what they do, and how to find one

The full roster the tool draws from. Each is a type of professional and the national body that credentials them — we don't maintain a directory of specific providers, and we'd be suspicious of anyone who claims to while taking referral fees.

Geriatric Care Manager

Coordinates the whole picture — medical and non-medical — and helps the family decide. Neutral (paid by you).

~$100–$250/hr, or $400–$800 assessment · aginglifecare.org · Not: a placement service or a doctor.

Elder Law Attorney

Powers of attorney, healthcare directives, Medicaid, asset and home protection.

~$300–$600/hr or flat packages · naela.org (look for CELA) · Not: a financial planner.

Certified Medicaid Planner

Medicaid eligibility and application, faster and cheaper than an attorney for pure eligibility.

Usually a flat fee · look for the CMP credential · Not: able to draft legal documents.

Estate Planning Attorney

What happens to assets after death — wills, trusts, avoiding probate.

Hourly or flat-fee packages · naela.org · Not: the same as elder law (ask if they do both).

Certified Financial Planner

Models how the money funds years of care. Fee-only = no commission conflict.

Hourly, flat, or % of assets · napfa.org (fee-only) · Not: a Medicaid specialist.

Daily Money Manager

Day-to-day bills and finances when those start to slip.

~$75–$150/hr · aadmm.com · Not: an investment advisor or a substitute for POA.

Senior Placement Advisor

Helps tour and compare communities once you've decided to move.

Free to you; paid by the community (~one month's rent) · Not: neutral about whether to move.

Geriatrician

A physician specializing in the medicine of older adults.

Medicare-covered · ask for a referral · Not: a manager of non-medical needs.

Geriatric Psychiatrist

Severe behavioral issues, medication and cognition, depression vs. dementia.

Medicare-covered · by referral · Not: family counseling or care coordination.

Home Care Agency (non-medical)

Daily hands-on help at home — bathing, meals, companionship.

~$30–$45/hr · vet insurance & bonding · Not: skilled nursing or 24/7 monitoring by default.

Hospital Social Worker / Discharge Planner

Free hospital ally for discharge and immediate post-acute placement.

Free (ask on day one) · Not: your long-term advocate or a neutral placement guide.

Senior Real Estate Specialist (SRES)

A Realtor trained for selling a long-held home in a senior transition.

Standard seller commission · sres.realtor · Not: a placement advisor or planner.

Senior Move Manager

Handles downsizing and the physical/emotional work of the move. Neutral.

Hourly or flat fee · nasmm.org · Not: a real estate agent or estate liquidator.

Reverse Mortgage Counselor

HUD-required independent counseling before any reverse mortgage.

~$125–$200 · HUD-approved agency · Not: a loan officer (independent, no commission).

State Long-Term Care Ombudsman

Free advocate for residents of nursing homes and assisted living.

Free · via Eldercare Locator · Not: a community-picker or move manager.

VA Benefits Specialist

Aid & Attendance and other benefits for wartime veterans and surviving spouses.

Use VA-accredited help · va.gov · Coordinate with elder law to avoid Medicaid conflicts.

Questions families ask

Who do I call when an elderly parent can't live alone?

If it's an immediate safety concern, the federal Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) connects you to local services, and Adult Protective Services can do a welfare check. For planning rather than emergency: a geriatric care manager (find one through the Aging Life Care Association) to coordinate, a home care agency for daily help, an elder law attorney for benefits and legal documents, and a senior move manager if a move is coming. The tool above walks you to the right one.

What do I do when an elderly parent can no longer live alone?

Start by getting an honest assessment of what's actually unsafe — a primary care doctor or a geriatric care manager can do this. From there the path forks: more in-home support, a move to a higher level of care, or a mix. The first calls are usually a doctor to assess, a geriatric care manager to plan, and an elder law attorney if money or legal decisions are involved.

How do I know when a parent can't live alone?

Common signs: falls or near-falls, missed medications, unpaid bills or scam vulnerability, weight loss or spoiled food, poor hygiene, getting lost, or a recent hospital stay. One serious sign — or several small ones together — is the cue to get a professional assessment rather than wait for a crisis.

What does a geriatric care manager do?

A geriatric care manager, now often called an Aging Life Care Professional, assesses an older adult's whole situation, coordinates medical and non-medical providers, and helps the family decide with real information. They take no commission from senior living communities, which is what makes their guidance neutral. Find one through the Aging Life Care Association at aginglifecare.org.

How much does a geriatric care manager cost?

Roughly $100 to $250 an hour for ongoing work, or a flat initial assessment that commonly runs $400 to $800. Medicare does not cover it, though some long-term care insurance policies cover the first assessment. Rates vary by region.

What's the difference between an elder law attorney and an estate planning attorney?

An elder law attorney focuses on planning for life: powers of attorney, healthcare directives, Medicaid eligibility, and protecting assets through a long-term-care event. An estate planning attorney focuses on what happens to assets after death — wills, trusts, avoiding probate. Many attorneys do both, so ask directly.

What is a Certified Medicaid Planner, and how is it different from an elder law attorney?

A Certified Medicaid Planner is a non-attorney trained specifically in Medicaid eligibility and the application. For a straightforward eligibility question they're often faster and cheaper than an attorney, usually charging a flat fee. But they cannot draft legal documents, set up trusts, or represent you in an appeal — for those, you need an elder law attorney.

Who is paid by whom in senior care?

It varies, and it matters. Geriatric care managers, Certified Medicaid Planners, daily money managers, and fee-only financial planners are paid directly by you, so their advice has no built-in tilt. A senior placement advisor is paid by the senior living community when your parent moves in — usually about one month's rent — and refers within its own network. That makes placement help useful once you've decided to move, but not neutral about whether to move.

Do I need a geriatric care manager or a senior placement advisor?

A geriatric care manager is the neutral voice for whether and where to move — they're paid by you, not by a community. A senior placement advisor is paid by the community and refers within their network, so they're most useful after you've decided to move and want help touring and comparing. For the decision itself, start with the care manager.

Can family members be held liable for letting an elderly parent live alone?

Generally, adult children aren't automatically responsible for a competent parent's choices, but liability can arise where there's a legal duty — for example, a named guardian or someone holding power of attorney who fails to act. This is a question for an elder law attorney, who can clarify your specific obligations.

More from the Senior Move Roadmap

Staying home and modifying it?

The Aging in Place section walks the assessment-first sequence — an occupational therapist before a contractor — so you don't remodel blind.

What will care actually cost?

Step 4 lays out the real cost picture — home care, assisted living, memory care — and how families pay for it.

Need to have the conversation first?

Talking With Your Parent and When the Family Doesn't Agree are built for the hard conversations before the decisions.

Get the full system delivered
The whole Senior Move Roadmap, in your inbox
Sign up — free →